I Don't Want To Stay Because I Know It's Illegal

FAN MAIL



It should come as no surprise to ANYONE who reads this blog, that I like to creep the shit out of the Hollywood Hills. This means I like to drive around in the middle of the night and look for weird things. One of my favorite adventures included running in to a shirtless, homeless-looking man at 4am on a tuesday with a bottle of champagne in his hand, staggering around his front yard, staring at my car like it was a UFO. I am half-ashamed, half-proud to admit that these things bring me great joy.

The following letter is a letter I found during one of these missions. I have transcribed below:

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Good evening Monsieur DiCaprio.

I am sad, I missed you, you left with your friends at 6.50 PM and I was not quick enough getting out of the car.
I came on saturday to give you my ecologic brand tee shirt.
I hope you got them.
I understood that you don't want to be partner in "BRAND NAME" but if i go back to France with a picture of you with a "BRAND NAME" tee shirt, I will be so glad.
I know I'm dreaming, bur I like the sentence "Believe in Your Dreams."
I'll come back tomorrow at 12.00 to try to see you.
I don't want to want to stay at night here and waiting for you because i know it's illegal. The bag with the tee shirt is a gift for your girlfriend, I have seen her as well leaving in your Toyota.

Thank you in advance.
Au Revoir.

STALKER